vineri, 7 noiembrie 2008

Alo!? Nu sunt acasa.

In ultimele 2 saptamani am primit 3 telefoane de "sondare a opiniei publice". Asta e, daca stau diminetile acasa... La toate anonimitatea intervievatului nu se respecta, dar nu lipseau intrebarile legate de venit, statut social, adresa. Cel mai lipsit de etica a fost cel electoral- dupa intrebari comandat probabil de PDL (aici nu e vina partidulul, ca ei au apelat la profesionisti, teoretic), pentru ca abia la sfarsit, asta e nu m-am prins pe parcurs, aveam sa aflu ca imi stiau numele. Intrebarile obisnuite: dupa cele privind problemele din sectorul 6 (generale si apoi specifice- de parca sistemul medical sau de invatamant poate fi mai bun in sectorul 6 dar mai prost la nivel national, sau invers) mai degraba potrivite pentru niste alegeri locale nu generale- parlamentare, dar in fine, au urmat cele de identificare a candidatilor- pe cine stiu eu si apoi informative: iata care sunt. Dar au fost si intrebari fooarte interesante: cu cine am votat la Consiliul Local, daca cred ca Basescu e vinovat de scandalurile din Romania, cum va fi vazuta (!! nu cum vad eu), daca se va lua, decizia de a se reveni asupra majorarii pensiilor si/ sau salariilor profesorilor/ bugetarilor, care din guvernarile(!!) PSD, PNL sau PDL a facut mai mult bine, care a facut mai mult rau.
Cele comerciale, fascinant de proaste si cu obiective foarte limitate. Ultimul, care de fapt cred ca era de "incazire", ca astazi m-au sunat sa ma invite la o prezentare a ofertei lor turistice, avea 2 intrebari: ! citat: "Unde ati calatorit in concediu in ultimii 5 ani?" si "Cat ati cheltuit in fiecare dintre sejururi- in tara sau strainatate?".
Unele dintre cele mai spectaculoase convorbiri din seria "spamurilor telefonice" au fost cu o companie de brokeraj care tranzactiona cica si pe bursa de la Londra, NY, Paris, ehei... si garantau castig "in 2/3/4 saptamani veti castiga 10/20/15 USD pe actiune la Coca Cola/ Shell/ Nike", asta inainte de "marea criza". Nu m-au mai sunat dupa ce i-am amenintat ca din acel moment voi inregistra orice convorbire si ca o voi da celor de la CNVM. Daar, zilele astea o prietena a fost sunata- imi pare taare rau ca nu le-a raspuns. Chiar as fi vrut sa stiu ce mai promit de data asta.
Pana acum am fost draguta si am raspuns intrebarilor (mai mult sau mai putin sincer- de exemplu, la venit intodeauna spun ca eu castig 10.000 RON- e o suma care mie personal imi place cum suna). Dar la urmatorul telefon- trebuie sa gasesc o traducere plastica- voi pune in practica poana din "Seinfend":
Telemarketer: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.
Jerry: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.
Telemarketer: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
Telemarketer: No. Jerry: Well now you know how I feel.
Probabil stiti de telefonul- pacaleala dat de niste tipi de la un post de radio canadian candidatului republican, guvernatoarea Sarah Palin care a crezut ca vorbeste cu Nicolas Sarkozy. Daca nu, iata-l:

Transcriptul convorbirii:
Sarkozy: Yes, hello, Governor Palin. Yes hello, Mrs Governor?
Palin: Hello, this is Sarah, how are you?
S: Fine, and you? This is Nicolas Sarkozy speaking, how are you?
P: Oooooh, it's so good, its so good to hear you. Thank you for calling us.
S: Oh, it's a pleasure.
P: Thank you sir, we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I. We love you! And thank you for taking a few minutes to talk to me.
S: I follow your campaigns closely with my special American adviser Johnny Hallyday (NOTE: Hallyday is a French singer and actor), you know?
P: Yes! Good.
S: You see, I got elected in France because I'm real and you seem to be someone who's real as well.
P: Yes. Yeah. Nicolas, we so appreciate this opportunity
S: You know I see you as a president one day, you too.
P: (Giggle) Maybe in eight years! (Giggle)
S: Well, I hope for you. You know, we have a lot in common because personally one of my favourite activities is to hunt, too.
P: Oh, very good! We should go hunting together!
S: Exactly, we could go try hunting by helicopter like you did. I never did that. Like we say in French, on pourrait tuer des bebe phoques, aussi. (One could kill all the baby seals).
P: Well, I think we could have a lot of fun together, as we're getting work done. We can kill two birds with one stone that way.
S: I just love killing those animals. Mmm, mmm, take away life, that is so fun!
Palin: (Giggle) S: I'd really love to go, so long as we don't bring Vice President Cheney.
P: Noooo, I'll be a careful shot, yes.
S: Yes, you know we have a lot in common also, because except that from my house I can see Belgium. That's kind of less interesting than you.
P: Well, see, we're right next door to different countries that we all need to be working with, yes.
S: Some people said in the last days - and I thought that was mean - that you weren't experienced enough in foreign relations and you know that's completely false. That's the thing I said to my great friend, the prime minister of Canada, Stef Carse (NOTE: Stef Carse is a Canadian singer).
P: Well, he's doing fine, too, and yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundints (NOTE: she calls pundits pundints) and the critics wrong. You work that much harder.
S: I was wondering because you are so next to him, one of my good friends, the prime minister of Quebec, Mr Richard Z Sirois (NOTE: hes a Canadian comedian), have you met him recently? Did he come to one of your rallies?
P: I haven't seen him at one of the rallies but it's been great working with the Canadian officials in my role as Governor. We have a great co-operative effort there as we work on all of our resource-development projects. You know, I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife. Oh my goodness! You've added a lot of energy to your country with that, ha, beautiful family of yours.
S: Thank you very much. You know my wife Carla would love to meet you, even though you know she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today.
P: (Giggle) Well, give her a big hug for me.
S: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former hot top model and she's so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.
P: Oh my goodness! I didn't know that!
S: Yes, in French it's called Le Rouge A Levres Sur Un Cochon (NOTE: it means Lipstick on a Pig), or if you prefer in English, Joe the's his life, Joe the Plumber.
P: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism but I bet you she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plough through that criticism.
S: I just want to be sure. I dont quite understand the phenomenon Joe the Plumber. That's not your husband, right?
P: That's not my husband but he's a normal American who just works hard and doesn't want government to take his money.
S: Yes, yes, I understand we have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France. It's called Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit. P: Right, that's what it's all about, its the middle class and government needing to work for them. You're a very good example for us here.
S: I must say Governor Palin, I love the documentary they made on your life. You know, Hustler's Nailin' Palin?
P: Ohh, good, thank you! Yes.
S: That was really edgy.
P: (Giggle) Well, good.

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